Lazenbee Industries

2009-12-06T14:55:00.002Z

Crush your enemies and make them pay

We'd all like a little "closure" now that "times are hard", but let's face it - the current economic situation is the result of years of outmoded thinking. Wealth-creators have tried to justify what they've done in terms of "social benefits" - clearly the wrong course of action.

Years ago the prominent thinker E.K. Blankenship was asked what should be done in times of labour unrest. He pointed to the administration in then South Vietnam as a model. Dismissed as a "crank", Blankenship's wisdom was sadly ignored.

But treating our own citizens in the way South Vietnam treated theirs would be a disaster, the naysayers whinged. Seems they were unaware of Blankenship's "Law of Diminishing Outrage", which states that no matter how outrageous the action, the public will eventually accept it so long as they are atomised.

Just think of how the "bank bailout" could have been different, with a little South Vietnam style leadership.

2009-03-13T14:21:00.002Z

Stock market gold!

Now is the time to make millions from human misery. At Lazenbee, we've been doing just that for over 40 years. The key is to create human desires by privatising human need. And we can help you unlock this strategy - but only if you are willing to trade in your very soul.

To make enquiries, just stick your head out of your window, and wait until we contact you with vital mind mail.

2007-03-25T17:07:00.000Z

No disconnect here

2007-01-19T21:28:00.000Z

One from the archive

In its many years of service, our wholly-owned subsidiary Contagion Media Group has proven time and time again that not only can they deliver, but they can also miss the point.

After all, the European Union is there to deliver when national governments can't. As Prof EK Blankenship has stressed, the goal is "the privatisation of the public." Certainly no one in the Behaviour Actualisation Community has a problem with that.

But the afore-mentioned public do seem to perceive a problem - in fact, several. And frankly, the ham-fisted "modernisation" of today's presenters does not help. Desperate attempts at muscle-flexing are not uplifting or diverting, so are clearly not going to move anyone in a focus group.

Clearly, the presentation isn't working.

2007-01-07T15:29:00.002Z

Scene

2007-01-07T15:29:00.001Z

Morning

2007-01-01T16:01:00.000Z

New Year's Resolution

"We are not hated because we practice democracy, freedom and human rights. We are hated because our government denies these things to people in Third World countries whose resources are coveted by our multinational corporations. That hatred we have sown has come back to haunt us in the form of terrorism -- and in the future, nuclear terrorism.

Once the truth about why the threat exists is understood, the solution becomes obvious. We must change our ways. Getting rid of our nuclear weapons -- unilaterally if necessary -- will enhance our security. Drastically altering our foreign policy will ensure it.

Instead of sending our sons and daughters around the world to kill Arabs so we can have the oil under their sand, we should send them to rebuild their infrastructure, supply clean water and feed starving children. Instead of continuing to kill thousands of Iraqi children every day with our sanctions, we should help Iraqis rebuild their electric power plants, their water treatment facilities, their hospitals -- all the things we destroyed and prevented them from rebuilding with sanctions.

Instead of training terrorists and death squads, we should close the School of the Americas. Instead of supporting insurrection, destabilization, assassination and terror around the world, we should abolish the CIA and give the money to relief agencies.

In short, we should do good instead of evil. Who would try to stop us? Who would hate us? Who would want to bomb us?"
-Robert Bowman, 1998

2006-12-29T17:40:00.000Z

A joyful noise

We at Lazenbee are delighted to be able to share some of our delightful new "music", designed to bring about the privatisation of the public. Be sure to let your neighbours know. We will be monitoring your progress.

2006-12-29T10:25:00.000Z

A tribute to bold and dynamic thinking

2006-12-14T19:57:00.000Z

Lazenbee Industries salutes an American hero

2006-09-05T19:42:00.000Z

The Impossible Dream

As Prof Blankenship has noted, there are moments when the Behaviour Actualisation Community can simply sit back and relax. This is one of them.

2006-08-29T20:07:00.000Z

An important message from Lazenbee Industries

2006-08-05T21:05:00.000Z

Reaction to the Tommy Sheridan sex case

2006-06-04T10:26:00.000Z

Fear Management

Since the early days of Lazenbee, back in the mid 80's, we've worked hard to "re-direct the flow", and we've been fairly successful. It's clear when you see that debate has been all but obliterated in politics and journalism that we've had some effect. But halfway there is like halfway pregnant - it ain't happenin'.

So while we're gladdened by the vacuous nature of the exchanges between Our Dear Leader and the "opposition", our spirits again become deflated by the frankly inept handling of some of the most basic techniques of Behaviour Actualisation.

So let's have a recap: don't start something you can't finish. Follow-through is the whole point.

2006-05-31T22:22:00.000Z

Diplomacy - with a vengeance!

As always, we're charmed to see America's sweetheart threatening to use diplomacy, but we fear that it may not have the desired effect, for reasons that Prof Blankenship has outlined elsewhere. Suffice it to say, this may have all the pulling power of "An Evening with Alistair Campbell".

But how it brings back memories of an earlier, more temperate age. It was 1967, and our own Lars Kefauver had passed the high water mark of his career. He was beginning what was to be a six-week run at Jimmy Wong's and had hit on the idea of trying to "re-tool" contemporary popular music.

Suffice it to say, his own brand of strident patriotism, free-jazz and abuse missed it's mark. Few who were there will forget the sight of a red-faced, sweaty and goggle-eyed Lars being dragged off the stage, screaming "Go to hell you f****ing beatniks! I claw your eyes out!", and then tossing raw meat into the audience, exhorting them to "smoke that!".

Will Ms Rice's intervention have the same effect on her desired audience? Only time will tell...

2006-05-27T22:24:00.000Z

"For the moment, however, a different understanding of freedom reigned supreme, one that reveled in the unimpeded reign of economic enterprise, yet tolerated the coercive surveillance of private life and individual conscience. The proposerity of the 1920s and the elimination of "widespread poverty" (or so President Hoover claimed in his inaugural address of 1929) seemed to vindicate this definition of freedom. When the economic crash came, it would be swept aside..."
-Eric Foner, The Story of American Freedom, pp. 192-3

2006-05-27T21:24:00.000Z

a child of democracy struggling to be born

2006-05-27T17:36:00.000Z

Progressive pre-emption

Much as we adore the self-satirising nature of Our Dear Leader, we at Lazenbee feel duty bound to point out to the Behaviour Actualisation community that bad form is no substitute for full spectrum dominance.
After all, if this keeps up, the "people" may start to notice.

2006-05-27T14:35:00.000Z

Euston - we have a problem!

"It is an old and historically established maxim that obsolete social forces, nominally still in possession of all the attributes of power and continuing to vegetate long after the basis of their existence has rotted away, inasmuch as the heirs are quarrelling among themselves over the inheritance even before the obituary notice has been printed and the testament read -- that these forces once more summon all their strength before their agony of death, pass from the defensive to the offensive, challenge instead of giving way, and seek to draw the most extreme conclusions from premises which have not only been put in question but already condemned."

2006-05-27T14:25:00.000Z

A "special" relationship

"...can I buy you dinner?"

2006-05-26T16:31:00.000Z

Back with a vengeance

"What is unbelievably depressing about the...government's response is that they see, in the evidence about greenhouse gases, not an opportunity to promote environmental concern but a chance to make the case for nuclear power."

2006-05-25T21:28:00.000Z

Investor news

We're always delighted to see new, innovative, solutions-based thinking at work. While the artless whine, the art world dreams of a better future. If you fail to plan, you plan to fail, as Joey Bishop no doubt said.

And are we surprised that the effervescent Bono is one of those helping to pave the way forward?

No.

2006-05-24T19:41:00.000Z

Ignore the man behind the curtain

"I defy anyone on the basis of this evidence to say that is an unreasonable demand for the international community to make when, after all, it is only the same demand that we have made for 11 years and he has rejected."

2006-05-24T15:31:00.000Z

Behave!

One of the things that those of us in the Behaviour Actualisation community have been banging on about for quite some time now is that if you're going to achieve your ends, you must take control.

And yet, we have watched in stupefied amazement at the inept handling of the present situation. While it has been amazing to see the degree to which the Enabling community is willing to "pull the wool over its own eyes", no one should be under any illusions that the "public" will never wake up to the fact it is being offered the same shell game.

If things don't pick up some time soon, we at Lazenbee may need to take up Prof Blankenship's offer of sanctuary on Planet Q-78.

In the meantime, please - could everyone remember that the point of surplus acquisition is not simply "to make a profit" - but the ultimate goal: "the privatisation of the public".

2005-09-04T21:29:00.000Z

Investor Alert 2!

We at Lazenbee Industries have endeavoured, as plainly as we possibly could, to direct the gaze of the Behaviour Actualisation community towards something other than their stock portfolios - namely, maintaining control. And yet, we now sit dumbstruck at the, frankly, ham-fisted performance now in evidence at the Head Office. If this keeps up, the privatisation of the public will have to wait.

White House Press Briefing:

MR. McCLELLAN: And we -- if you look at what the Department of Transportation, for instance, has done, they have moved I think approximately 1,000 truckloads containing more than -- nearly 7 million Meals Ready To Eat to the region. They have moved millions of gallons of water, 15,000-plus tarps, 10,000-plus rolls of plastic sheeting, 3.4 million pounds of ice that they have helped to transport to those who are in need of those supplies.

Q But none of that means anything to somebody who has been living on an interstate overpass for the last three days, without food or water, or any kind of assistance, local or federal.

MR. McCLELLAN: As we were passing over the region yesterday, Bill, we saw people that were standing on those highways, those highways that just disappeared into the water. We saw people that were on rooftops. We saw helicopters in the distance engaged in search and rescue operations as we were passing through the region.

Our concern, first and foremost, is with the people who have been displaced or affected otherwise by this major catastrophe. It is a major catastrophe and there is a major response to this catastrophe. And the federal government will continue working to do everything in our power to get help to those in need. But we certainly understand the frustration coming from people on the ground who are in need of help and we will continue working to get them the assistance that they need. We appreciate the efforts of all those in the region who are working round-the-clock to make sure that they are getting help.

Q Are you going to bring back any National Guardsmen from Iraq to help?

MR. McCLELLAN: I think that the military talked about that a little bit yesterday. I think you're talking about two separate priorities and we're addressing both. And they'll be talking later today, I think, about some of the ongoing increase in the number of National Guard units that are being deployed to the New Orleans area to meet the security and law enforcement needs that are on the ground.

Q Do you have enough troops on hand?

MR. McCLELLAN: I think that they've indicated that, yes.

Q Scott, what impact is this having on the budget? Are you preparing a budget supplemental to take care of it, or how much money are we talking about?

MR. McCLELLAN: That is a good question.

2005-04-24T21:27:00.000Z

Sighs, dozen madder

We remain somewhat nonplussed towards the Actualising Community, yet before we are accused of being contrarians, consider the following:

The UK (as it is presently known) is currently conducting an election. Millions of electors are now to consider the arguments of a variety of political parties. The "mainstream" media make these arguments available, distilling the "messages" into bite sized chunks.

While we have no objections to this paradigm, we are concerned at the artlessness of the presentation.

We'll leave the inimitable Prof Blankenship to fill in the details. For now, what is essential is to understand that, delightful as it is to pretend, we cannot take for granted that "class" will forever remain "off the table". It's fine for Enablers to think this, but when we see Actualisers thinking this way, we become worried. Because it's time to circle the wagons. Asset stripping is one thing.

Drawing attention to it is another.

2005-03-26T19:55:00.000Z

Investor Alert! "I wish I could gie ya the feelin"

Lazenbee Industries asks investors to please take note:

Only those suffering from serious delusions could fail to see the pitfalls of the present form of "debate" now dominant in the sole "superpower". But what is perhaps less obvious, is the way that millions of "common" people are now aware that they have a potential power. And they are acting upon this knowledge.

Not good news for the Actualising Community.

More bad news comes - again - from the new Labour camp, which grinds forward with its "election campaign". It is not so much the vapidity or the Orwellian nature of the current exercise which vexes us (though we do find it comforting that even the opposition displays the visage of our Dear Leader). No, it is the fact that electorate is less than enamoured with the whole process and is beginning to do things about it. And some of the less wellhinged are starting to panic and say things they may wish they shouldn't have. Things Enablers might read.

But - on the brighter side, some things never change.

2005-03-19T19:53:00.000Z

Sinful wages

If today's investor ever needed another example of why we must "privatise the public" as soon as possible, then the streets of Glasgow and London provided the very thing today.

We cannot help but feel a sense of dismay when we think of the ground which has been lost in recent years - but then we see that there still people who care, and we can't help smiling.

2005-03-18T12:09:00.000Z

Forward not back

We wish to express our concern at the apparent aimlessness of the once mighty and masterful minds of the new Labour project.

It isn't simply the manner in which the "ball is being dropped."

No, it goes further than this. Once upon a time, we at Lazenbee Industries marvelled - yes, absolutely marvelled - at the furious pace with which "Old Britain" was obliterated. Concepts like "liberty" and "happiness" became as meaningless as the jazzy scat doodlings of some hopheaded lounge lizard.

But, as the great Professor Earl K Blankenship has pointed out, time and time again, the goal must be the "privatisation of the public". Investors must be aware that we are now further from that goal today, not closer.

It is time for Actualisers to consider something bolder than "blue sky" "thinking outside the box". Vapourise the sky, dismantle the box and plan ahead.

2005-03-12T11:35:00.000Z

Mea Culpa

It has come to the attention of the Board of Management of Lazenbee Industries that the "posting" of items on this blog has been less than dynamic.

And for this, we are sorry beyond measure.

Yet, we simply say to you that change, will be both bold and positive, can at times be fraught with "difficulties". The recent slew of right-sizings to which Lazenbee Industries has been committed to has demanded more attention than one would have thought possible. And yet.

And yet, we feel confident that a progressive and fiscally responsible outcome will lead to a future that is rewarding, nimble and pliant.

We look forward to meeting your needs.

2003-12-23T21:00:00.001Z

Guardian Unlimited | Guardian daily comment | It's greed, not ideology, that rules the White House

2003-12-23T20:50:00.000Z

Glasgow Sunday Herald, 21 December 2003, http://www.sundayherald.com/38816

Revealed: who really found Saddam?

Saddam’s capture was the best present George Bush could have hoped for, and then Gaddafi handed a propaganda gift to Blair. But nothing’s ever that simple
By Foreign Editor David Pratt

It was exactly one week ago at 3.15pm Baghdad time, when a beaming Paul Bremer made that now-famous announce ment: “Ladies and gentlemen, we got him!”
Saddam Hussein: High Value Target Number One. The Glorious Leader. The Lion of Babylon had been snared. Iraq’s most wanted – the ace of spades – had become little more than an ace in the hole.

In Baghdad’s streets, Kalashnikov bullets rained down in celebration. In the billets of US soldiers, there were high fives, toasts and cigars. In the Jordanian capital Amman, an elderly woman overcome by grief broke down in tears and died. Inside a snow-blanketed White House, George W Bush prepared to address the nation.

“There’s an end to everything,” said a sombre Safa Saber al-Douri, a former Iraqi air force pilot, now a grocer in al-Dwar, the town where only hours earlier one of the greatest manhunts in history had ended under a polystyrene hatch in a six foot deep “spider hole.”

But just how did that endgame come about? Indeed, who exactly were the key players in what until then had been a frustrating and sometimes embarrassing hunt for a former dictator with a $25 million (£14m) bounty on his head?

For 249 days there was no shortage of US expertise devoted to the hunt. But the Pentagon has always remained tight-lipped about those individuals and groups involved, such as Task Force 20, said to be America’s most elite covert unit, or another super-secret team known as Greyfox, which specialises in radio and telephone surveillance.

Saddam, of course, was never likely to use the phone, and the best chance of locating him would always be as a result of informers or home-grown Iraqi intelligence. On this and their collaboration with anti-Saddam groups the Americans have also remained reticent.

Enter one Qusrat Rasul Ali, otherwise known as the lion of Kurdistan. A leader of the Patriotic Union of Kurdistan (PUK), Rasul Ali was once tortured by Saddam’s henchmen, but today is chief of a special forces unit dedicated to hunting down former Ba’athist regime leaders.

Rasul Ali’s unit had an impressive track record. It was they who last August, working alone, arrested Iraqi vice-president Taha Yassin Ramadan in Mosul, northern Iraq. Barely a month earlier in the al-Falah district of the same town, the PUK is believed to have played a crucial role in the pinpointing and storming of a villa that culminated in the deaths of Saddam’s sons Uday and Qusay.

In that mixed district of Mosul where Arabs, Kurds and Turkemen live side by side, PUK informers went running to their leader Jalal Talabani’s nearest military headquarters to bring him news on the exact location of the villa where both Uday and Qusay had taken shelter.

Armed with the information, Talabani made a beeline for US administration offices in Baghdad, where deputy defence secretary Paul Wolfowitz was based for a week’s stay in Iraq at the time.

The Kurdish leader and US military chiefs conferred and decided that PUK intelligence would go ahead and secretly surround the Zeidan villa and install sensors and eavesdropping devices. The Kurdish agents were instructed to prepare the site for the US special forces operation to storm the building on July 22.

American officials later said they expected that the $30m bounty promised by their government for the capture or death of the Hussein sons would be paid. Given their direct involvement in providing the exact location and intelligence necessary, no doubt Talabani’s PUK operatives could lay claim to the sum, but no confirmation of any delivery or receipt of the cash has ever been made.

The PUK and Rasul Ali’s special “Ba’athist hunters” have, it seems, been doing what the Americans have consistently failed to do. In an interview with the PUK’s al-Hurriyah radio station last Wednesday, Adil Murad, a member of the PUK’s political bureau, confirmed that the Kurdish unit had been pursuing fugitive Ba’athists for the past months in Mosul, Samarra, Tikrit and areas to the south including al-Dwar where Saddam was eventually cornered. Murad even says that the day before Saddam’s capture he was tipped off by PUK General Thamir al-Sultan, that Saddam would be arrested within the next 72 hours.

Clearly the Kurdish net was closing on Saddam, and PUK head Jalal Talabani and Rasul Ali were once again in the running for US bounty – should any be going.

It was at about 10.50am Baghdad time on last Saturday when US intel ligence says it got the tip it was looking for. But it was not until 8pm, with the launch of Operation Red Dawn, that they finally began to close in on the prize.

The US media reported that the tip-off came from an Iraqi man who was arrested during a raid in Tikrit, and even speculated that he could get part of the bounty. “It was intelligence, actionable intelligence,” claimed Lt General Ricardo Sanchez, commander of coalition ground forces in Iraq. “It was great analytical work.”

But the widely held view that Kurdish intelligence was the key to the operation was supported in a statement released last Sunday by the Iraqi Governing Council. Ahmed Chalabi, leader of the Iraqi National Congress, said that Rasul Ali and his PUK special forces unit had provided vital information and more.

Last Saturday, as the US operation picked up speed, the Fourth Infantry Division moved into the area surrounding two farms codenamed Wolverine 1 and Wolverine 2 near al-Dwar, the heart of the Saddam heartland – a military town where practically every man is a military officer past or present. It is said to have a special place in Saddam’s sentiments because it was from here that he swam across the Tigris River when he was a dissident fleeing arrest in the 1960s.

Every year on August 28, the town marks Saddam’s escape with a swimming contest . In 1992, Saddam himself attended the race. It was won by a man called Qais al-Nameq. It was al-Nameq’s farmhouse – Wolverine 2 – that about 600 troops, including engineers, artillery and special forces, surrounded, cutting off all roads for about four or five miles around.

Next to a sheep pen was a ramshackle orange and white taxi, which US officials say was probably used to ferry Saddam around while he was on the run, sometimes moving every three or four hours.

Inside the premises was a walled compound with a mud hut and small lean-to. There US soldiers found the camouflaged hole in which Saddam was hiding.

It was 3.15pm Washington time when Donald Rumsfeld called George W Bush at Camp David. “Mr President, first reports are not always accurate,” he began. “But we think we may have him.”

First reports – indeed the very first report of Saddam’s capture – were also coming out elsewhere. Jalal Talabani chose to leak the news and details of Rasul Ali’s role in the deployment to the Iranian media and to be interviewed by them.

By early Sunday – way before Saddam’s capture was being reported by the mainstream Western press – the Kurdish media ran the following news wire:

“Saddam Hussein, the former President of the Iraqi regime, was captured by the Patriotic Union of Kurdistan. A special intelligence unit led by Qusrat Rasul Ali, a high-ranking member of the PUK, found Saddam Hussein in the city of Tikrit, his birthplace. Qusrat’s team was accompanied by a group of US soldiers. Further details of the capture will emerge during the day; but the global Kurdish party is about to begin!”

By the time Western press agencies were running the same story, the emphasis had changed, and the ousted Iraqi president had been “captured in a raid by US forces backed by Kurdish fighters.”

Rasul Ali himself, meanwhile, had already been on air at the Iranian satellite station al-Alam insisting that his “PUK fighters sealed the area off before the arrival of the US forces”.

By late Sunday as the story went global, the Kurdish role was reduced to a supportive one in what was described by the Pentagon and US military officials as a “joint operation”. The Americans now somewhat reluctantly were admitting that PUK fighters were on the ground alongside them , while PUK sources were making more considered statements and playing down their precise role.

So just who did get to Saddam first, the Kurds or the Americans? And if indeed it was a joint operation would it have been possible at all without the intelligence and on-the-ground participation of Rasul Ali and his special forces?

If the PUK themselves pulled off Saddam’s capture, there would be much to gain from taking the $25m bounty and any political guarantees the Americans might reward them with to keep schtum. What’s more, Jalal Talabani’s links to Tehran have always worried Washington, and having his party grab the grand prize from beneath their noses would be awkward to say the least.

“It’s mutually worth it to us and the Americans. We need assurances for the future and they need the kudos of getting Saddam,” admitted a Kurdish source on condition of anonymity. It would be all to easy to dismiss the questions surrounding the PUK role as conspiracy theory. After all, almost every major event that affects the Arab world prompts tales that are quickly woven into intricate shapes and patterns, to demonstrate innocence, seek credit or apportion blame. Saddam’s capture is no exception.

Of the numerous and more exotic theories surrounding events leading to Saddam’s arrest, one originates on a website many believe edited by former Israeli intelligence agents, but which often turns up inside information about the Middle East that proves to be accurate.

According to Debka.com, there is a possibility that Saddam was held for up to three weeks in al-Dwar by a Kurdish splinter group while they negotiated a handover to the Americans in return for the $25m reward. This, the writers say would explain his dishevelled and disorientated appearance.

But perhaps the mother of all conspiracy theories, is the one about the pictures distributed by the Americans showing the hideout with a palm tree behind the soldier who uncov ered the hole where Saddam was hiding. The palm carried a cluster of pre-ripened yellow dates, which might suggest that Saddam was arrested at least three months earlier, because dates ripen in the summer when they turn into their black or brown colour.

Those who buy into such an explanation conclude that Saddam’s capture was stage-managed and his place of arrest probably elsewhere. All fanciful stuff. But as is so often the case, the real chain of events is likely to be far more mundane.

In the end serious questions remain about the Kurdish role and whether at last Sunday’s Baghdad press conference, Paul Bremer was telling the whole truth . Or is it a case of “ladies and gentlemen we got him,” – with a little more help from our Kurdish friends than might be politically expedient to admit?

21 December 2003