Lazenbee Industries

2009-12-06T14:55:00.002Z

Crush your enemies and make them pay

We'd all like a little "closure" now that "times are hard", but let's face it - the current economic situation is the result of years of outmoded thinking. Wealth-creators have tried to justify what they've done in terms of "social benefits" - clearly the wrong course of action.

Years ago the prominent thinker E.K. Blankenship was asked what should be done in times of labour unrest. He pointed to the administration in then South Vietnam as a model. Dismissed as a "crank", Blankenship's wisdom was sadly ignored.

But treating our own citizens in the way South Vietnam treated theirs would be a disaster, the naysayers whinged. Seems they were unaware of Blankenship's "Law of Diminishing Outrage", which states that no matter how outrageous the action, the public will eventually accept it so long as they are atomised.

Just think of how the "bank bailout" could have been different, with a little South Vietnam style leadership.

2009-03-13T14:21:00.002Z

Stock market gold!

Now is the time to make millions from human misery. At Lazenbee, we've been doing just that for over 40 years. The key is to create human desires by privatising human need. And we can help you unlock this strategy - but only if you are willing to trade in your very soul.

To make enquiries, just stick your head out of your window, and wait until we contact you with vital mind mail.

2007-03-25T17:07:00.000Z

No disconnect here

2007-01-19T21:28:00.000Z

One from the archive

In its many years of service, our wholly-owned subsidiary Contagion Media Group has proven time and time again that not only can they deliver, but they can also miss the point.

After all, the European Union is there to deliver when national governments can't. As Prof EK Blankenship has stressed, the goal is "the privatisation of the public." Certainly no one in the Behaviour Actualisation Community has a problem with that.

But the afore-mentioned public do seem to perceive a problem - in fact, several. And frankly, the ham-fisted "modernisation" of today's presenters does not help. Desperate attempts at muscle-flexing are not uplifting or diverting, so are clearly not going to move anyone in a focus group.

Clearly, the presentation isn't working.

2007-01-07T15:29:00.002Z

Scene

2007-01-07T15:29:00.001Z

Morning

2007-01-01T16:01:00.000Z

New Year's Resolution

"We are not hated because we practice democracy, freedom and human rights. We are hated because our government denies these things to people in Third World countries whose resources are coveted by our multinational corporations. That hatred we have sown has come back to haunt us in the form of terrorism -- and in the future, nuclear terrorism.

Once the truth about why the threat exists is understood, the solution becomes obvious. We must change our ways. Getting rid of our nuclear weapons -- unilaterally if necessary -- will enhance our security. Drastically altering our foreign policy will ensure it.

Instead of sending our sons and daughters around the world to kill Arabs so we can have the oil under their sand, we should send them to rebuild their infrastructure, supply clean water and feed starving children. Instead of continuing to kill thousands of Iraqi children every day with our sanctions, we should help Iraqis rebuild their electric power plants, their water treatment facilities, their hospitals -- all the things we destroyed and prevented them from rebuilding with sanctions.

Instead of training terrorists and death squads, we should close the School of the Americas. Instead of supporting insurrection, destabilization, assassination and terror around the world, we should abolish the CIA and give the money to relief agencies.

In short, we should do good instead of evil. Who would try to stop us? Who would hate us? Who would want to bomb us?"
-Robert Bowman, 1998

2006-12-29T17:40:00.000Z

A joyful noise

We at Lazenbee are delighted to be able to share some of our delightful new "music", designed to bring about the privatisation of the public. Be sure to let your neighbours know. We will be monitoring your progress.

2006-12-29T10:25:00.000Z

A tribute to bold and dynamic thinking

2006-12-14T19:57:00.000Z

Lazenbee Industries salutes an American hero

2006-09-05T19:42:00.000Z

The Impossible Dream

As Prof Blankenship has noted, there are moments when the Behaviour Actualisation Community can simply sit back and relax. This is one of them.

2006-08-29T20:07:00.000Z

An important message from Lazenbee Industries

2006-08-05T21:05:00.000Z

Reaction to the Tommy Sheridan sex case

2006-06-04T10:26:00.000Z

Fear Management

Since the early days of Lazenbee, back in the mid 80's, we've worked hard to "re-direct the flow", and we've been fairly successful. It's clear when you see that debate has been all but obliterated in politics and journalism that we've had some effect. But halfway there is like halfway pregnant - it ain't happenin'.

So while we're gladdened by the vacuous nature of the exchanges between Our Dear Leader and the "opposition", our spirits again become deflated by the frankly inept handling of some of the most basic techniques of Behaviour Actualisation.

So let's have a recap: don't start something you can't finish. Follow-through is the whole point.

2006-05-31T22:22:00.000Z

Diplomacy - with a vengeance!

As always, we're charmed to see America's sweetheart threatening to use diplomacy, but we fear that it may not have the desired effect, for reasons that Prof Blankenship has outlined elsewhere. Suffice it to say, this may have all the pulling power of "An Evening with Alistair Campbell".

But how it brings back memories of an earlier, more temperate age. It was 1967, and our own Lars Kefauver had passed the high water mark of his career. He was beginning what was to be a six-week run at Jimmy Wong's and had hit on the idea of trying to "re-tool" contemporary popular music.

Suffice it to say, his own brand of strident patriotism, free-jazz and abuse missed it's mark. Few who were there will forget the sight of a red-faced, sweaty and goggle-eyed Lars being dragged off the stage, screaming "Go to hell you f****ing beatniks! I claw your eyes out!", and then tossing raw meat into the audience, exhorting them to "smoke that!".

Will Ms Rice's intervention have the same effect on her desired audience? Only time will tell...

2006-05-27T22:24:00.000Z

"For the moment, however, a different understanding of freedom reigned supreme, one that reveled in the unimpeded reign of economic enterprise, yet tolerated the coercive surveillance of private life and individual conscience. The proposerity of the 1920s and the elimination of "widespread poverty" (or so President Hoover claimed in his inaugural address of 1929) seemed to vindicate this definition of freedom. When the economic crash came, it would be swept aside..."
-Eric Foner, The Story of American Freedom, pp. 192-3

2006-05-27T21:24:00.000Z

a child of democracy struggling to be born

2006-05-27T17:36:00.000Z

Progressive pre-emption

Much as we adore the self-satirising nature of Our Dear Leader, we at Lazenbee feel duty bound to point out to the Behaviour Actualisation community that bad form is no substitute for full spectrum dominance.
After all, if this keeps up, the "people" may start to notice.

2006-05-27T14:35:00.000Z

Euston - we have a problem!

"It is an old and historically established maxim that obsolete social forces, nominally still in possession of all the attributes of power and continuing to vegetate long after the basis of their existence has rotted away, inasmuch as the heirs are quarrelling among themselves over the inheritance even before the obituary notice has been printed and the testament read -- that these forces once more summon all their strength before their agony of death, pass from the defensive to the offensive, challenge instead of giving way, and seek to draw the most extreme conclusions from premises which have not only been put in question but already condemned."

2006-05-27T14:25:00.000Z

A "special" relationship

"...can I buy you dinner?"

2006-05-26T16:31:00.000Z

Back with a vengeance

"What is unbelievably depressing about the...government's response is that they see, in the evidence about greenhouse gases, not an opportunity to promote environmental concern but a chance to make the case for nuclear power."

2006-05-25T21:28:00.000Z

Investor news

We're always delighted to see new, innovative, solutions-based thinking at work. While the artless whine, the art world dreams of a better future. If you fail to plan, you plan to fail, as Joey Bishop no doubt said.

And are we surprised that the effervescent Bono is one of those helping to pave the way forward?

No.

2006-05-24T19:41:00.000Z

Ignore the man behind the curtain

"I defy anyone on the basis of this evidence to say that is an unreasonable demand for the international community to make when, after all, it is only the same demand that we have made for 11 years and he has rejected."

2006-05-24T15:31:00.000Z

Behave!

One of the things that those of us in the Behaviour Actualisation community have been banging on about for quite some time now is that if you're going to achieve your ends, you must take control.

And yet, we have watched in stupefied amazement at the inept handling of the present situation. While it has been amazing to see the degree to which the Enabling community is willing to "pull the wool over its own eyes", no one should be under any illusions that the "public" will never wake up to the fact it is being offered the same shell game.

If things don't pick up some time soon, we at Lazenbee may need to take up Prof Blankenship's offer of sanctuary on Planet Q-78.

In the meantime, please - could everyone remember that the point of surplus acquisition is not simply "to make a profit" - but the ultimate goal: "the privatisation of the public".

2005-09-04T21:29:00.000Z

Investor Alert 2!

We at Lazenbee Industries have endeavoured, as plainly as we possibly could, to direct the gaze of the Behaviour Actualisation community towards something other than their stock portfolios - namely, maintaining control. And yet, we now sit dumbstruck at the, frankly, ham-fisted performance now in evidence at the Head Office. If this keeps up, the privatisation of the public will have to wait.

White House Press Briefing:

MR. McCLELLAN: And we -- if you look at what the Department of Transportation, for instance, has done, they have moved I think approximately 1,000 truckloads containing more than -- nearly 7 million Meals Ready To Eat to the region. They have moved millions of gallons of water, 15,000-plus tarps, 10,000-plus rolls of plastic sheeting, 3.4 million pounds of ice that they have helped to transport to those who are in need of those supplies.

Q But none of that means anything to somebody who has been living on an interstate overpass for the last three days, without food or water, or any kind of assistance, local or federal.

MR. McCLELLAN: As we were passing over the region yesterday, Bill, we saw people that were standing on those highways, those highways that just disappeared into the water. We saw people that were on rooftops. We saw helicopters in the distance engaged in search and rescue operations as we were passing through the region.

Our concern, first and foremost, is with the people who have been displaced or affected otherwise by this major catastrophe. It is a major catastrophe and there is a major response to this catastrophe. And the federal government will continue working to do everything in our power to get help to those in need. But we certainly understand the frustration coming from people on the ground who are in need of help and we will continue working to get them the assistance that they need. We appreciate the efforts of all those in the region who are working round-the-clock to make sure that they are getting help.

Q Are you going to bring back any National Guardsmen from Iraq to help?

MR. McCLELLAN: I think that the military talked about that a little bit yesterday. I think you're talking about two separate priorities and we're addressing both. And they'll be talking later today, I think, about some of the ongoing increase in the number of National Guard units that are being deployed to the New Orleans area to meet the security and law enforcement needs that are on the ground.

Q Do you have enough troops on hand?

MR. McCLELLAN: I think that they've indicated that, yes.

Q Scott, what impact is this having on the budget? Are you preparing a budget supplemental to take care of it, or how much money are we talking about?

MR. McCLELLAN: That is a good question.